18th September, 1912
I was a little busy with some work in
Gauri-Ma's Girls' School. Therefore I was not free to go to the Holy Mother
according to my desire. It was an auspicious day when, one morning, I arrived at
her place. She was getting ready to go to the Ganges for her bath. At the very
sight of me she said with evident pleasure, "I am very glad you have come
today. It is an auspicious day, being the birthday of Radhika. Wait here till I
return from the Ganges." I expressed my desire to accompany her and she
first agreed. It was drizzling and Golap-Ma sternly objected to my going, as I
would be exposed to the rain. The Mother supported Golap-Ma and said,
"Please wait here. I shall return presently." We often noticed her
behaving like a gentle young girl. She would never press her views over those
of others. As soon as she came to the street, the rain stopped. She returned
home after finishing the bath and said, "Well the rain stopped as soon as
I came out into the street. You also wanted to accompany me. I thought it would
have been nice if you had come with me. You could have had a sight of the Holy
Ganges." To tell the truth, I was not so eager for the Ganges as for her
holy company. For, as we are involved in a thousand and one duties of the
world, we can hardly find time to visit her. On those few days when we can
fortunately go to her, we do not like to leave her presence even for a minute.
Golap-Ma, however, heard the words of the Holy Mother and remarked, "What
does it matter if she has not seen the Ganges! All desires will be fulfilled by
touching your holy feet." I also nodded assent to these words. But the
Mother said at once, "Do not say so! Ah, it is the Mother Ganges after
all!" The Mother would seldom reveal her divine greatness through any word
or deed. She would always act in such a way that people might take her to be an
ordinary human being like themselves. Only on rare occasions would she, out of
grace for some fortunate devotee, reveal her divine aspect. She entered the
room, sat on the bed and said, "Look here. I have finished my bath in the
Ganges!" I understood that she had come to know of my innermost desire of
worshipping her lotus feet. I said to myself, "Thou art ever pure. It is
not necessary for Thee to bathe in the Ganges to purify Thyself." When I
sat at her feet with flowers and sandalpaste, she said, "Don't put any
Tulasi leaves." I worshipped her feet with flowers and sandal paste. I
bowed down to her. Afterwards she began to take her breakfast. She made me sit
near and began to give me, with infinite love, half of every article of food
she took. I ate the Prasada with great joy. As I was eating from the leaf
plate, I was reminded of Saint Durga Charan Nag. I said to the Mother, "This
leaf-plate often reminds me. of Nag Mahasaya."
Mother: What wonderful devotion he had! Look
at this dry leaf-plate. Who can eat it? But he had an exuberance of devotion,
and would swallow the leaf which had touched the Prasada. Ah! what loving eyes
he had! Slightly reddish and always moist with tears! His body was emaciated by
hard austerities. He would come to see me. He could hardly climb the steps. His
emotions would well up at the very sight of me. He would tremble like a leaf.
He would stagger while walking. I have never seen such devotion in anybody.
Devotee: I have read in his biography that
he gave up his medical practice and was absorbed, day and night, in his
meditation on Sri Ramakrishna.One day his father said in an angry mood,
"You are so indifferent to the world. What will be your fate? You will not
have a piece of cloth to cover your body with! And you will have to eat frogs
to satisfy your hunger!" There was a dead frog in the courtyard. Nag
Mahasaya threw away the cloth that he had been wearing and ate the frog. Then
he said to his father, "I have fulfilled your two prophecies. Please
banish all your anxieties regarding my food and clothing and devote yourself to
the thought of God."
Mother: What a wonderful devotion to his
father! He did not make any difference between purity and impurity. This speaks
of his high spiritual realization.
Devotee: Once, on a very auspicious day, he
came home from Calcutta. The father reprimanded him and said, "You were in
Calcutta near the Ganges. How foolish of you to have come home away from the
Ganges on such an auspicious day! You should have stayed in Calcutta and taken
bath in the holy river." But just at the auspicious moment of that day,
all noticed water rising in a spout from the courtyard. Every place was
flooded. Nag Mahasaya became mad with ecstasy and cried, "Come, Mother
Ganges!" He sprinkled that water on his head. The people of his locality
bathed in that water and felt as if they had bathed in the Ganges. Mother:
True, even the impossible becomes possible through devotion. Once I gave him a
piece of cloth. He always tied it around his head. His wife also is very good
and devoted. She came to see me the other day during the summer season she is
still alive.
At this time some devotees arrived and the
conversation was stopped. They prostrated themselves before the Holy Mother.
She asked me to prepare some rolls of betel leaves. I prepared two and handed
them over to her. She ate one herself and returned the other to me. I left her
again to prepare the rest of the betel leaves. The Mother, after a while, came
to our room with two devotees. They started to help me and the work was over
very quickly. The Mother separated a few leaves to make a present to them. She
was very happy and said, "Ah! my good girls have finished their job so
quickly."
The Holy Mother retired to the room of
Golap-Ma on the second floor. I went there a few minutes later and saw that she
was lying on the floor, resting her head on the door sill. So I could not step
over the door-sill and enter the room. She looked at me and said, "Come
in. It is all right!" She was always so free and informal. She raised her
head from the sill and I entered the room. I sat by her side and began to fan
her. She asked me various things regarding the school of Gauri-Ma. I gave her
suitable replies. Just then the two women devotees came there. One of them
began to dress the Mother's hair. She separated one or two grey hairs and tied
them in the skirt of her cloth. She said, "I shall preserve them as a
souvenir." The Holy Mother felt abashed and said with hesitation,
"Why are you doing so? I have thrown away so much hair before." She
went to the roof to bask in the sun. We also followed her. There were many
clothes drying in the sun. She asked me to take them away to the room.
Later, when the worship was over, the Holy
Mother asked me to make the necessary preparation for the noonday meal of the
devotees. We all sat together for the meal. The Mother took a morsel or two.
The Prasada was then distributed among us. The two women-devotees mentioned
above were with us. One of them was old and had her husband. She had seen Sri
Ramakrishna. The other one was her daughter-in-law.
The old lady said, "Sri Ramakrishna
gave us many instructions. But we have carried out very few of them. Had we
followed his advice, we would not have suffered so much in the world. We are
attached to the world and are always running after this or that work."
The Mother said, replying, "One must do
some work. Through work alone can one remove the bondage of work, not by
avoiding work. Total detachment comes later on. One should not be without work
even for a moment."
SOURCE: THE GOSPEL OF HOLY MOTHER SRI SARADA DEVI
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